iii. NOW - Please write 1 word down from the list above, that best describes you when under pressure and in disagreement with someone.
It might be fast or quiet, directing, avoiding ... you choose whatever resonates for you.
Whichever word and character you’ve picked is the right one. There’s absolutely no wrong answer…
You are a smart sophisticated person so you might be saying, I am more than one of these characters or words or even all of them, depending on context.
These characters are not there to restrict you, they are simply a springboard for awareness, so for now, if you haven’t done so already, try to narrow
down one word and one character.
If that’s proving difficult imagine you’re an audience member in the theatre, and your scenario is being enacted on the stage. Think about how the
characters behaved and what they did. Which one of those characters would you cast yourself as. Are you sitting quietly observing, or slamming your
hand down on the table and so on?
This is a good technique to use at any time to distance oneself from a problem and view it with a fresh
perspective.
JUDGEMENT
What judgement do you associate with the character and word you’ve picked? What are your instinctive reactions to it?
Each one of the words and characters in the card list above can be positioned in a number of different ways, both in a negative and positive frame.
Just like an actor saying ‘I love you’ can be played authentically, sarcastically, humorously, sardonically, and so on.
Each one of the words and characters in the card list are neither good nor bad, they only have judgment attached to them by you or by another and in
relation to another.
To give you an example of what I mean I am going to use the 1 of Diamonds and the word fast:
In certain situations fast is an asset. The advantage means you can be active, dynamic, and meet deadlines. It can also mean a disadvantage, for example;
missing details, reactive and impatient. The interesting point here is that they can be either and only become a disadvantage or advantage depending on
judgement.
If you work with someone who loves detail and hates deadlines and you are both happy with the arrangement then missing details is not a disadvantage. In
fact it becomes an advantage to the other person and keeps them in a job.
So, did you find advantages and disadvantages associated with that one word that you chose? Or were there more of one than the other or were they both
equal? Human beings have a propensity to judge constantly. The goal here is to observe, in order to detect patterns of behaviour, rather than judge them.